"What is your sin?"

"What is your sin?". Or let's change it into a more friendly question like : "What is the one thing that make you feel regret the most?"

Are you a fan of the movie Along with The Gods? or Have you watched the latest episode of Running Man 415 (spoiler alerted!!) Let's play a simple game. Use our conscience, and make it shine like a mirror so that we can reflect our past. Use this little game so that we can judge our self how good as a person we are (don't you curious about it?)

Coming back to the question, we may regret a lot of things but in regards to the most regrettable thing we had, we definitely have an answer to it.

To some people, it could be their first love that make them regret the most. To others, it could be the wrong answer they gave in an important exam or in a crucial job interview, which eventually affected severely their future. To me, it was the one sentence I said to my mother when I was not myself. 10 years from that, and my mothers did not even mind about that mistake of mine, but I have never forgive about myself.

Before you continue with the rest of this short story, you may wonder "why should you care?", my answer lie in the fact that no mater what kind of regrets you have, the regret of not fulfilling your filial piety  is the biggest sin ever a human can have.

Before I lost myself, I was well-known for the easiest-to-be-bullied kid at school. I was beaten so hard that I had an appendix surgery and almost die because of it. My father was on business trip and was far away from home at the time my mother realized there was something wrong with me. However, the internal wound was difficult to see until it became so severe that it turned into a fatal wound. My father, after a long business day, canceled all of his agenda to travel 9 hours by driving a scooter to home so that he could be with me during vital hours. Luckily, I survived although I was sent to hospital a little bit late.

If you though I had changed after that crucial moment, you have underestimated my foolish kindness. I was still the same boy after I was dismissed from hospital. I was being bullied again even though my father sent me to martial classes to learn some Karate so that I could protect myself. 

Then, one day, around 2:30 am, when the whole world is sleeping, I heard some strange noises in the room where we place the altar. I woke up and led my curiosity lead me to find out what that strange noise was. It turned out that it was my mother spraying for me so that i could be protected by the god from those bullied at school. The crying of my mother was so clear it changed me completely. I did not interrupt myself. I just thought " I will never make my mother cry again. I would rather stand on others and move forward, not the other way around, never ever".

Then I changed. Not only I master the martial classes so easily and reach black belt in a very fast and aggressive way, I had trained myself to beat all other students from specialized classes in mathematics. I firstly won the top prize at math competition at school level, then won over the on at city level, all the way to province level, which is the highest one a student at my age was allowed to participated at that time. Not only that, I became an aggressive fighter. There was three gangster group at that time, and all of them have to follow the rule I set up " I don't care what kind of bad things they have done, but if they mess with me or do bad things in my area, all of them will be buried in my wrath" .

So in away, even though I had the right reason to fight, I went too far and made my defend looked so violent in other people's eyes. Look like I failed the Hell of Violence:

Sometimes, I knew I went too far but it was more horrible to me to see my parents cry again for me so I did not care anyone but myself and my family.

Those time was my sinned time, but was also glory days of my life. No one could changed or even tough me during those day. I was best at both studying and fighting. I followed my principle strictly and only those who breached my rules received my punishment so they literally could not make a big deal out of our personal conflict. However, I got carried away and didn't realize the old Steven was gone, and I was no longer my true-self.

During final years at secondary school, like many other students, I had to go through the entrance exam so that I could go to special classes in a High School for gifted students. I made a stupid mistake in the exam and got really upset about it. My mother, wanted to comfort me and came to my room to cheer me up. I was so stubborn and could not get over with my frustration so my mother had to raise her voice so that I could come back to my sense. She was still very cautious with her words because at the end, she wanted me to be happy.

Then, I said one thing i have never forgiven myself. "why don't you try to do the exam yourself". I didn't yell. I didn't raise my voice. However, the moment I finished that sarcastic saying, I realized I had become a jerk. I immediately apologized to my mother, but deep down, I wanted myself not to be forgiven. Even if the God had forgiven me, I won't forgive myself. Then I changed.

Unfortunately, I learnt my lesson too late. What had to come came to my life. Not long after that, my family went to face the first crisis that shaped me as what I am today.

My story may not be important. But the message I want to convey, I hope it could get to your heart.  Life you change you, into good or bad, successful or a non successful, as long as you still keep your commitment to your filial piety, you are not a loser like I do.

If you have stories you would like to share, something you do feel regret but your ego has kept you from saying it the whole time, feel free to contacting us for sharing. Who knows, by being open mind to others, you could find a way to salvage yourself from your biggest sin.

Next story: the 10 years punishment- the journey to from death to reborn.